Don't minimize rejection

1. The wrong attitude would to first assess the situation and only approach if you think you have a chance of success. The right attitude would be to approach regardless of the situation and adapt to the situation to see how you can best succeed. There is no experience gained in not approaching. You may also be wrong in thinking she will reject you. You will have learned something new, if she didn't. Don't approach based on whether she will reject you or not. Approach just because you like to get to know her. Everyone is a potential customer. Whether she rejects you is indifferent. It is also her loss for rejecting you.

2. Don't ask her based on whether she will accept the offer. Ask her out just because you are interested in her. Whether she rejects your offer is irrelevant. If she rejects, simply respond with she is not ready to accept your offer. A date is no big deal and if you see her again, simply continue to interact with her like you never asked her.

3. Don't stop advancing just because she is refusing your advances. Women like to play defense. It makes them feel special. If you continue to interact with her without advancing or even trying to advance the interaction into a intimate relationship, then you will have fallen into the friend zone. Once when she does provide you intimate actions, you need to reward her and make her feel special with time and attention. Not doing so will make her feel used and then, you will have fall into the friends zone. As long as she is wanting and willing to interact with you, you must pull her into an intimate interaction. Otherwise, you will fall into the friend zone. Don't be pully (pushy), but you do need pull. It is better to get rejected, then to be her friend.

The bottom line is don't measure your success by the number of rejections. You will get rejected. Sometimes, I approach knowing full well I am going to get rejected. I was more interested in the response I was going to get rather than trying to succeed. Don't try to minimize rejection either because you will then be too busy thinking how not to fail rather than taking the risk to see if you can succeed. Measure your success by the number of successes. Failures are part of the game and the game is not over until you quit.

Don't minimize rejection, instead, maximize time and opportunity.

The Good Life

How do you define what it means to live a good life? Do you even care to live a good life?

So let's assume for the purposes of communication, everyone wants to live a good life. Now, given that basic assumption, how do you measure what it means to have a good life?

1. Do you measure a good life based on things that happen to you? If so, have you ever done knowing full well good things will not come out of it? Such as being honest about a wrong you did just because it is the right thing to do? Have you donated or help someone knowing it will waste your time or money just because you want to see someone else better off? Have you ever sacrifice yourself like for your children or family just so they can be better off?

2. Do you measure the good life based on how much freedom and power your have? More freedom means more choices. More power means more freedom. More money means more power. Having arms and legs means your have more power than others who do not. Yet, there are those who fight for their rights like a in a war knowing and have lost their limbs. There are those who donate lots of money knowing full well they could use the money themselves. There are those who just want their equal share and nothing more.

3. Do you measure the good life based on acceptance, recognition and achievements? People cheat to beat others. People lie to get accepted and take advantage of others. But there are also those honest knowing full well, they not be liked for it. There are those who successful and humbly do not talk about it. There are also those who do good deeds and do not tell anyone. You may even be one of them. Good things do not have to happen to good people. Do not be depress because of it either. Good people do not need to have good things happen to them

What I am getting is the good life is not always measure by the things that happen to you. Eventually, what I am hoping you come to accept is that you actually have done things for others, for society, for the better of mankind. There is no need to be jealous, envious and compare yourself to others when you see someone else having better life. You choose to contribute because you want to. You do not always need to have good things happen to you. You do not need to be depress when terrible things happen to you. Life is not always about what happens to you. Life may just be about how much you can serve and contribute.

The life you want to live is your choice. And it will change. The life you choose to live does not always have to be fair, deserving, righteous, moral, ethical or successful. Live your life knowing full it is not always about what you can take out of it and what you can give into it.


The pain of happiness

There are advantages to being depress. By being depress, you never will get rejected. You never will be put down for smiling. You never have to be criticized for being anything other than depressed. You never have to open up to anybody.

There are, however, also disadvantages for being depress. By being depress, good people will stay away from you. By never smiling, you scare the best people away. You take no risk and reap no rewards.

There is a myth that all people who are depress are mentally ill. If there is a chemical imbalance, it may very well be the case that they are mentally ill. However, if there is no chemical imbalance and their depression still exist, then it is not a mental illness. It is perfectly mentally healthy to be depress.

Depression protects you from all the rejection for unwanted people, risk of failure and risk of being judged and criticized from unwanted people. The unconscious mind naturally will protect you by putting you in this state.

Now that you are consciously aware of it, you can make a choice. You can choose to be depress when it is beneficial - when you are aiming to avoid unwanted people. You can also choose to be happy when it is beneficial - when you are aiming to attract people.

Life is risk. Enjoy the mystery.