Materialistically, men can claim they really only want two things in life, women and money. However, these two desires are the worst goals when it comes to bonding.
If you are finding you lacking friends or close relationships, then perhaps it is because you lack bonding skills.
Men bond with other men by hunting, chatting or playing sports. Women bond with other women by cooking, chatting or nurturing each other. Men bond with women by dancing, chatting or sharing activities.
Keys to improving your bonding skills:
1. You must have other interest for the sake of the interest. Taking action for the sheer pleasure of the action with no alternative motive like making money or looking to get something in return.
2. Bonding is about team work and cooperation to achieve a common interest. It is not about competition, beating or winning over others.
3. Bonding is about spending time, energy and attention towards the common interest. If you are doing nothing, you are not bonding. If you are sleeping, you are not bonding. You need to be using up energy, having focus and paying attention.
4. Whoever you want to bond with must also have the same purpose. If she has alternative motives like getting money or getting free drinks, it is not bonding. It is her working for a self-serving purpose.
5. Bonding is not about figuring out what she wants and giving her what she wants. Doing so, will only spoil her and lead her to look for better. Bonding is about enjoying the activity. She may wants something else, but you are not offering her what she wants. You are doing what you want and she is enjoying being involved.
6. When bonding with women, men need to lead and women like to follow.
An attractive women needs to offer more than just her looks to be with you.
If she knows her looks is all you want, she will conclude you are just using her and only want to sleep with her.
If she has to work and pay attention to you, in order for you to be attracted to her, she will feel better about herself and feel you are more of a high-valued, selective, alpha male.
That is, for her to like you, she must treat you well. Do not settle for anything less.
1. Don't focus on what to say, focus on how you feel. How you feel will tell you what you want to say.
2. Don't focus on finding interesting things to say. Do focus on having a wide variety of things to say. The purpose of the conversation isn't to enjoy the topic, it is to enjoy the togetherness. If you have things to say that really interest her, she will be more interested in the topic than you -- no different than buying her a drink.
3. What you say will be forgotten. No one really cares.
4. The best thing to talk about is really non-sense things where she can evaluate and judge. That's right, non-sense. Such as
"Should I dye my hair blond?"
"How about a picture of you and me?"
"So should get my ears pierce?
These topics are non-sense because you already know the answer. They really serve no productivity purpose, but they serve a purpose for her.
Why are non-sense the best topic? Because on a conscious level, non-sense serve as a distraction. You are distracting her while the whole purpose is really to communicate to her on a subconscious level, to create emotions, togetherness and turn strangers into friends.
5. Keep the topics lighthearted and simple. If she want to learn the complexities of physics, she'd just read a book. She wants to relax and enjoy.