Very often, you will see a mid 20 year old female dating a 40 year old male or a 30 year old female dating a fifty year old male. What do these males have in common?
A 40 year old male should have enough experience that he makes very little mistakes in life in terms of leisure activities, finances and knowing what he wants. This security is attractive to females because she can rely on him to help her reduce mistakes and offer direction and insight she would not know.
So does this mean you need to wait until you are old enough? Of course not, age is not the factor. It is the experience, the knowledge and the success that turns her on. So to gain experience, you simply have to accept more stimulus. Staying at home and watching T.V. won't cut it. Go out, explore, try new things, learn new ideas and discover. The more you know, the more value you can add in an interaction.
I have discussed role playing before, but I am going to explain this one differently.
When women change clothes, dress up, dress down, they are role playing. The pleasure of role playing allows you to be an image and not be bored being the same type of person.
Roleplaying is fun.
It is a game adults and children play whether they are aware of it or not.
However, something happens when we become adults. We think role playing is childish, silly and immature. The problem with this thinking is that we end up becoming stuck to certain self-image. Essentially, we become narcissistic. Narcissistic people fail to realize an image is just that. A fake, mirage that no one else cares about and doesn't really exist. It limits growth and development because narcissists stick to keeping this image real.
So let's take a different direction and let's realize this image is a role you play. You can at any point change this role and play a new role. Role playing is done by changing clothes, wearing new decorations like necklace and watches, and behaving differently. One minute, you can be leader, next minute you can be a nerd and next day, you can be a bad ass.
Role play is attractive!
If you wear the same clothes every day, if you do and behave the same way everyday, you are boring people away from you. Maybe you do it because you are too cheap to buy new clothes. Maybe you do it because it is what you have always done and you do not see a reason to change. Maybe you do it because you do not realize that role play is fun and attractive. Other people like to see you in different clothes. They do not want you to be predictable and dull. They want you to be new, exciting and stimulating.
Role play is a fun tool to attract other people!
Materialistically, men can claim they really only want two things in life, women and money. However, these two desires are the worst goals when it comes to bonding.
If you are finding you lacking friends or close relationships, then perhaps it is because you lack bonding skills.
Men bond with other men by hunting, chatting or playing sports. Women bond with other women by cooking, chatting or nurturing each other. Men bond with women by dancing, chatting or sharing activities.
Keys to improving your bonding skills:
1. You must have other interest for the sake of the interest. Taking action for the sheer pleasure of the action with no alternative motive like making money or looking to get something in return.
2. Bonding is about team work and cooperation to achieve a common interest. It is not about competition, beating or winning over others.
3. Bonding is about spending time, energy and attention towards the common interest. If you are doing nothing, you are not bonding. If you are sleeping, you are not bonding. You need to be using up energy, having focus and paying attention.
4. Whoever you want to bond with must also have the same purpose. If she has alternative motives like getting money or getting free drinks, it is not bonding. It is her working for a self-serving purpose.
5. Bonding is not about figuring out what she wants and giving her what she wants. Doing so, will only spoil her and lead her to look for better. Bonding is about enjoying the activity. She may wants something else, but you are not offering her what she wants. You are doing what you want and she is enjoying being involved.
6. When bonding with women, men need to lead and women like to follow.