Art of Influence: Reactive beliefs and responses

Most of our beliefs have not been personally provened. If you believe jumping from a 20 storey building will kill you, it because you saw someone else did it. If you believe medicine will make you feel better, it is because the doctor said so. If you do not eat food because it smells funny, it is because you believe bad smelling food means untasty, unhealthy food.

People react to things rather than taking action and thoroughly understanding things. It is this reactive response that makes it easier to be productive faster. At the same time, it is this reactive response that makes it so easy to influence people. So the idea behind seduction or any type of persuasion strategy is find out what people respond to and mimic it as best you can. Not all people respond the same way, the more you understand how they respond, the more influential you can be. People are not even aware of their own reactive responses as it is done unconsciously.

Some examples of reactive response is

1. Social conformity - If people around you respect you, then others will too as they are just following social norms. 

Apply this idea, being in an environment where people respect you will cause others to be attracted to you. More importantly, being in an environment where attractive females like you will cause more females to be attracted to you.

2. Authority - If a doctor tells you, you are sick, you will believe him. If your boss tells you, you suck, you will worry about your job security. 

Applying this idea, don't be the idiot. You will influence no one.

3. Scarcity - An item is seen as more valuable if there is only a few left. 

Apply this idea, be willing to walk away. If she knows you will always stick in spite of what she does, then she has no fear of losing you. She will then see more value in others and will only choose you if she has no other choice.

4. Reciprocality - People give to those who have given to them.

Applying this idea, be friendly first. It is hard to be mean to people who are friendly for no reason.

For more, read Robert Cialdini's book.

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